Deep Water

I love Dr. Lisa, my primary care physician. I scheduled a visit with her last week, and she was so completely understanding and supportive that I couldn't help but feel better by the time I left. Our conversation was rife with similes or analogies.

Here's mine: I feel like this grief I'm carrying is a huge, unwieldy box. It takesall the strength I have to hang onto it and keep it balanced. When someone comes along and drops another box or two on top of it, even though they're much smaller and would ordinarily be fairly easy to carry, I can't handle the extra burden.

Here's hers: You're in a river, treading water. Even though you're trying to keep your head above it, you've grown very tired and you're just stuck there, unable to move forward.

The solution: Talk to this LDS counselor I know, and highly recommend. She shares your beliefs, and she knows about real life. And this prescription for Celexa, an antidepressant, will turn down the volume a bit on your emotions to give you abreather.

So, I'm going for it. My first appointment is next week. Whether it's the box, or the river, or both, I'm not sure, but a little objectivity is welcome. Dr.Lisa asked me if she'd been helpful, and I said yes, that she'd thrown me a rope. She said, "I like that. I threw you a rope, now S. will teach you to swim."

If all goes well, and I don't know why it wouldn't, I hope to be paddling happily about again before very long. I'll never be the same I know, I'm permanetly changed from all that's happened, Dr. Lisa warned me, but things ccan get better. Besides, I've always been a big supporter of people getting counseling when their situation becomes too confusing and troublesome. Now, it's my turn to follow my own advice.