Does Competition Belong in Primary?

It's definitely something to think about, seriously. It often makes me feel uneasy when the children get so loud and excited in the games and contests they play during song practice and sharing time. But it wasn't until I read this from Sofia's site that I finaly accepted, once and for all, that it's the competition that is causing the problem.
"Personal opinion: I never (yes…never) had competitions in Primary. I never did teams or boys vs. girls. I always had the primary work as a family of friends, getting as many points as we could all together. The world has too many divisions. I’m for being unified and working together. But to each his own, just food for thought."

Interesting, huh. She's got me thinking. I've never felt the Spirit when the noise level is off the charts.. But I usually do when peace and quiet reign. Those are my favorite Primary moments.
http://sofiasprimaryideas.blogspot.com/

What to Do When Misunderstandings Happen

Chances are good, I'd put it at about 100
%, that each of us is bound to have misunderstandings with our friends and family over the course of a lifetime. So what to do. Shun them? Kick them out of our life forever? Well, those are certainly a couple of options, but I believe there's a better way, one that won't cause us to run the risk of someday becoming a hermit. Yes it can hurt to be maligned and misunderstood, but remember that it's not fatal, it is completely survivable, and overcomable. Although it does take practice, which life will gladly provide. So when we mess up the first few times, keep trying, we'll get better at handling differences if we really want to.

Do go to the scriptures and prophets for inspiration. The spirit they bring changes hearts and perspectives faster than anything else I've found.
Do pray.
Do seek counsel from a few close friends if wanted, and then keep quiet about it.
Don't slam the door. Keep it open. Bake up a batch of banana nut muffins and be ready to talk things over if the other party is willing. If not, then wait. Wait as long as it takes for things to be resolved.
Don't contact them if they've asked you not to. Don't push it. Birthday cards, etc. may be ok, but be careful.
(Note: This applies to misunderstandings, not to every crime or major sin. Nor does it rule out professional counseling.)

So far, I am trusting this is the way to peace. Personal peace, for sure, and perhaps, eventually, to peace with another. If my ideas are less than convincing, then please read the next two quotes that blessed me, and that I hope will bless you too.

Howard W. Hunter
“How are we supposed to act when we are offended, misunderstood, unfairly or unkindly treated, or sinned against? What are we supposed to do if we are hurt by those we love, or are passed over for promotion, or are falsely accused, or have our motives unfairly assailed?“Do we fight back? Do we send in an ever-larger battalion? Do we revert to an eyefor an eye and a tooth for a tooth, or, as Tevye says in Fiddler on the Roof, do we come to the realization that this finally leaves us blind and toothless?” (Conference Report, Oct. 1992)

Gordon B. Hinckley
“It is not always easy to live by these doctrines when our very natures impel us to fight back…Most of us have not reached that stage of compassion and love and forgiveness.It is not easy. It requires a self-discipline almost greater than we are capable of. But as we try, we come to know that there is a resource of healing, that there is a mighty power of healing in Christ, and that if we are to be his true servants, we must not only exercise that healing power in behalf of others, but, perhaps more important, inwardly.
“I would that the healing power of Christ might spread over the earth and be diffused through our society and into our homes, that it might cure men's hearts of the evil and adverse elements of greed and hate and conflict. I believe it could happen. I believe it must happen. If the lamb is to lie down with the lion, then peace must overcome conflict; healing must mend injury.” (Faith, The Essence of True Religion, p. 35)

Returning Good for Evil

I am really looking forward to book club tomorrow night, where we'll be discussing The Kite Runner. I'd heard good things about Khaled Hosseini's first novel a couple of years ago, and I'd put it on my to read list, but had it not been chosen for this month's selection, I might never have moved it to the top of the list. Boy howdy, does it ever contain clear and memorable examples of all kinds of behavior, ranging from the telestial, to terrestrial, and on up to the celestial! Someone from the group asked me today how I liked the book, and I said I loved it. She went on to bemoan the dozen or so bad words and one particular terrible act of cruelty found within its pages, without mentioning the overall story of love, courage, forgiveness, and redemption it so powerfully imparts. As I said, there are definitely good guys and bad guys here, but it's the good that has stamped the strongest impression on my mind, almost dazzling me with its example of returning good for evil, filling me with the hope that I'll be able to do likewise. Jesus said, "...love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you...." But it's not often that we get to see this in practice, because these kinds of things are pretty personal, and also, they're most likely quite rare.

Here's one example from the book: Amir, the protagonist, describes an injustice he did at age 13.
"Then I took a couple of the envelopes of cash from the pile of gifts and my watch, and tiptoed out. I paused before Baba's study and listened in. He'd been in there all morning, making phone calls. ... I went downstairs, crossed the yard, and entered Ali and Hassan's living quarters by the loquat tree. I lifted Hassan's mattress and planted my new watch and a handful of Afghani bills under it.
"I waited another thirty minutes. Then I knocked on Baba's door and told what I hoped would be the last in a long line of shameful lies."

Here's what happens when Baba, Amir's father, gathers Amir, and Ali and Hassan in his study to make inquiries. Amir says:
"They'd both been crying; I could tell from their red, puffed-up eyes. They stood before Baba, hand in hand, and I wondered how and when I'd become capable of causing this kind of pain.
"Baba came right out and asked. "Did you steal that money? Did you steal Amir's watch, Hassan?"
Hassan's reply was a single word, delivered in a thin, raspy voice: "Yes."
I flinched, like I'd been slapped. My heart sank and I almost blurted out the truth. Then I understood: This was Hassan's final sacrifice for me. If he'd said no, Baba would have believed him because we all knew Hassan never lied. And if Baba believed him, then I'd be the accused; I would have to explain and I would be revealed for what I really was. Baba would never, ever forgive me. ..."

Talk about taking on someone else's sins, Hassan, out of love, willingly does it for Amir. The story spans three decades of Amir's llife, a rocky journey indeed. But you won't be disappointed in the end. Or will you? All I know for sure is that I wasn't.

Laugh or Cry Cupcakes: We Laughed

So I decided to make Red Velvet cupcakes for the family for Valentine's Day. I started at about, oh, maybe 1 a.m. It's so hard to get the batter into the paper liners neatly, and to divide it equally among them is next to impossible for me to do too. But not to worry, somehow love saw me through, and I took the extra time to do the very best job I could do with it. Too bad no one was awake to take pictures of the whole tedious, painstaking process for me. After they cooled I made the rich and fluffy cream cheese frosting. But then I remembered how the boys usually do the frosting for me, I am baaad at it. Oh well, my motto is carry through, so let's just get it done, I think to myself. The recipe said to pipe it on, but I don't know how to pipe. I'll have to settle for globbing it on. The more frosting the better, right?

It's about 3 a.m. now, so after I do a taste test, (yum), I shove them into the fridge and go to bed, falling asleep with the happy knowledge that I've done Valentine's Day up right. I'd mailed valentines to all the kids, and made cupcakes for those here at home.

Here's where the story takes a sad twist. When I took them out of the refrigerator this afternoon, I felt juice running all over the platter they were sitting on. I dashed over to the sink to drain off this unwanted, unknown liquid that was about to ruin my valentine surprise. Several cupcakes fell into the ssink, but most of the others seemed to be ok. I then scurried back over to the fridge to see if I could figure out what this liquid was. Grape juice, oh no, not grape juice. Dan came downstairs soon after and said there was grape juice everywhere. I'd wiped up the shelf, but it was on the other shelves as well, plus on the counter, down the front of the dishwasher, and on the floor. He cleaned it up for me! Thank you, sweetheart, this makes up for no chocolates. (We did share a Midnight Truffle Blizzard after stake conference last night.)

So everything's fine. Seven cupcakes were salvaged. The mess is no more. And in our cottage there is joy, because there's love at home.

Harry Hurray!

I don't think many other people post about finishing the Harry Potter series. Does this mean my life is meaningless and shallow? Naw, I'm sure it means something, but not that. Anyway, with grandsons Jaxon and Kade, and sons Kimball and Shane as my main encouragement, I finished the entire seven book series today! It's true I'm not a fan of the sappy Twilight books, but I found I am a fan of the exciting, action-packed, suspense-filled, jewel-encrusted Harry Potter story. I wonder what experiences of J. K. Rowling's enabled her to write these sentences, that mirror one of my own hard-won life lessons:
"Harry kept quiet. He did not want to express the doubts and uncertainties about Dumbledore that had riddled him for months now. He had made his choice while he dug Dobby's grave, he had decided to continue along the winding, dangerous path indicated for him by Albus Dumbledore, to accept that he had not been told everything that he wanted to know, but simply to trust. He had no desire to doubt again; he did not want to hear anything that would deflect him from his purpose."

I ordered book seven from the library immediately after I'd read book six, and as Colin was walking through the room I asked him how he'd endured having to wait a year or more between the release of each book back when he and Shane were caught up in the series. In a quavery old man's voice, he said, "Back in my day, we didn't have the next book, we had to be patient." Funny sonny.

We topped the day off by attending the Saturday night session of stake conference together, Dan and I. Having him beside me at church is a rare occurrence indeed, and one that I deeply appreciate. With valentine's day coming up tomorrow, the theme was love. I liked this quote our stake president included in his remarks from a talk called "Love All," by Elder David B. Haight, printed in the Nov. 1982 edition of the Ensign:
“The full and essential nature of love we may not understand,” wrote Elder John A.Widtsoe. “But there are tests by which it may be recognized. “Love is always founded in truth. … Lies and deceit, or any other violation of the moral law, are proofs of love’s absence. Love perishes in the midst of untruth. …Thus, … [he] who falsifies to his loved one, or offers (him or) her any act contrary to truth,does not really love (him or) her. “Further, love does not offend or hurt or injure the loved one. … Cruelty is as absent from love … as truth is from untruth. …“Love is a positive active force. It helps the loved one. If there is need, love tries to supply it. If there is weakness, love supplants it with strength. … Love that does not help is a faked or transient love.“Good as these tests are, there is a greater one. True love sacrifices for the loved one. … That is the final test. Christ gave of Himself, gave His life, for us, and thereby proclaimed the reality of his love for his mortal brethren and sisters.”

See, I told you I'm not shallow, not all the time, anyway. I have learned to love not just because, but also despite. And that's something I'll never finish working on, because I know that love can be eternal.

More Than a Sigh of Relief, It's a Wild Whoop of Joy

Over and over, louder and louder, you keep telling yourself it's ok, everything's going to be just fine. But still, there's a persistent little voice that just won't stop whispering the what ifs in your mind. How great it is to hear the oncologist confirm what you already knew. Everything really is fine! Another whole year before I have to see him again! Woooo-hoooo!!!

I guess this means I'd better get back on the healthy eating & exercising bandwagon. I'm going to be sticking around awhile longer. I want to make red velvet cupcakes for Valentine's Day. Hmmm, let's see if I can figure out how to make a healthy version of this current obsession.

Rich

We never forget some of the funny things our little ones say, even lo these many years later, and it's always a welcome surprise when something we're doing or thinking in the here and now triggers one of those precious memories. When Greg was about three and a half years old, around this same time of year, I remember him asking me if spring was just around the corner. I said that it was getting closer, but not quite that close yet. He wondered, then, if "it might be around three corners ."

This morning, feeling grateful to have happily emerged from a difficult few days, I smiled to myself at a memory of Jordan from when he was about four years old. When we got home from visiting teaching a lady who' had kindly shown us her doll collection, he thoughtfully observed, "Connie is rich in dolls." I have a couple of Chinese dolls Brianna brought back from China, and a southern belle Barbie doll Dan gave me one year for Christmas, and four recently acquired fairy dolls. So, I'm Not exactly rich in dolls, like Connie was, nor do I aspire to be, but I am aware that I am wildly, fabulously rich in blessings and in truth. In my own humble home, I have felt the very power and spirit of God, the ruler of heaven and of earth. I have personally felt the unmistakable effects of Jesus Christ's atonement. Through it, my bruised and broken heart is being made whole. Fear, hurt, anger, despair, they've each been removed when I put my trust in Himm. Nothing tastes, looks, sounds, feels, or is anywhere near as valuable to me as the everlastingly true gospel of Jesus Christ. I will accept no counterfeits.