What Is A Happy Family?

Is it a problem-free family? Is it like Johnson's Baby Shampoo, one that promises No More Tears? If it is, then I guess the happy family has gone the way of the dinosaur,if it ever existed at all. Truth is, I'm overjoyed to say that I know that happy families do live and breathe in the here and now, because I'm part of one. Despite death, illness,squabbles, misunderstandings, divorce, most of us are a happy bunch, most of the time. I'll let Orson Scott Card explain because he does it so masterfully. This is an excerpt from his article, "The Truly Happy Family:"

"The great Russian writer Leo Tolstoy said it with the first line of his novel "Anna Karenina": "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Actually, he said it in Russian -- this is just the most common translation --and of course he was exactly wrong. Following a very few patterns, unhappy families seem to chart almost identical downward spirals into misery or dissolution. Happy families, however, seem to find the resources to overcome obstacles, conflicts, griefs and the natural cycles of life.

What do we mean by a "happy" family? If we mean one in which each individual never knows a moment's grief, frustration, anger, disappointment, resentment, envy, loneliness or suffering, then "happy family" is a term without a referent in the real world. Even if such people existed, they wouldn't even know they were happy, having never experienced anything else. A happy family will always contain unhappy individuals, because such is the nature of human life. We always want at least some things that cannot be had; we always lose things we wish we could keep. Our bodies don't do all we want them to do; we suffer ills and pains. There is no such thing as a satisfying career, because careers by their nature can never satisfy us for more than a moment at a time. When you achieve the pinnacle of your ambition, the thrill lasts about 14 seconds, and then you cast about wondering what to try for next. Either we don't have all the children we wanted, our children make choices that we wish they hadn't, or they do everything perfectly -- and then move away to start their own families, leaving us comparatively lonely and purposeless. And yet people going through all these natural woes may be living in a genuinely happy family. Those of us who have suffered the worst thing in the world -- the death of a child --are perhaps most keenly aware of the great paradox: It is while suffering the worst of grief that we feel most keenly the joy of family love. The world gets confused and thinks that joy or happiness are identical to pleasure or amusement. Wicked, miserable, cynical, lonely people can smile and laugh; happy, generous, hopeful, loving people can weep. The measure of a joyful family life is not in our transient emotions, but rather in our lasting commitments. No offense, but Tolstoy was an idiot compared to, say, David O. McKay, who said, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." The other side of that is: If your family is committed to helping each other achieve worthy goals, then nothing the world can do to you will take away that fundamental joy."

http://www.mormontimes.com/mormon_voices/orson_scott_card/?id=7628

This is why I can say that while my life is not perfect, it is happy. Everyone, every child, every adult, deserves to belong to a happy family. Let us put selfishness aside and make a happy home a reality for our family!