Story Time

My book club met yesterday to discuss our latest read, Princess Academy by Shannon Hale. Young girls experiencing mild teenage angst may be the target audience, but it's a pleasant enough read for any age. One nugget of usefulness was enfolded within its pages, the rules of diplomacy. Lorrie, our discussion leader for the day, thought it'd be worthwhile to post them on the fridge for help in resolving family disputes. So here they are, completely free of charge:
1. State the problem; 2. Admit your own error; 3. State the error of the other party; 4. Propose specific compromises; 5. Invite mutual acceptance; 6. Illustrate the negative outcome of refusal and the positive of acceptance; 7. Assert a deadline for acceptance. It was fun to see how the girls used these newly-learned rules on their tutor, and won their point with her, to everyone's delight, including the tutor's.

Dan and I have a bet on the Harry Potter series. He says I won't finish it, I say, rather weakly, that I probably will. Well, so far it's one down and six to go. I'm taking the second book with me for my reading pleasure this weekend. Kimball challenged me to read it since his boys, Jaxon and Kade, have enjoyed it so much. So what's a self-respecting grandmother to do? Shane and Colin had a heyday with the series too, so it's HP for me!
The book I'm most excited about reading right now though is by Richard and LindaEyre, with their daughter, Saren Eyre Loosli, and it's called Empty-Nest Parenting: Adjusting Your Stewardship As Your Children Leave Home. It just arrived in the mail from the Utah State Library for the Blind on cassette tape yesterday, and already, I'm hooked. I'll give you a little peek into the book.
First excerpt:
This is not a book written for people who are content to have average families. This is not a book written for people who just want a few easy little ideas for staying in touch or setting up trust funds for grandkids. This is not a book written for people who think that enduring families or great adult family relationships just happen by luck or by chance. We're going to try to persuade you, or support you if you already believe, that families and family relationships need constant maintenance. This is a book about choosing who you want to be for the rest of your life, and centering that choice on family; making family bonds grow stronger rather than weaker as years pass and generations grow up; becoming true patriarchs or matriarchs and leading and supporting your family forever; creating a mutually beneficial and increasingly interdependent relationship with your children as you share your lives , your knowledge, and your love.

Second excerpt:
Somewhere along the line here in America, we have come to the common narrow notion that family means parents and the young children who live with them; and, that once the kids move on to their own families, parents should let them have their independence by getting out of the picture. Thus we give up and walk away from the role we ought to play for the rest of our lives, the role that will help our children most and that will preserve our own dignity, respect and happiness: The ongoing role of parent, adviser, grandparent, and family head. We also give up priceless opportunities to learn from our children, share their lives, and enjoy their friendship. Empty-nestparenting doesn't mean we don't enjoy the greater freedom and flexibility that come with an empty nest, but it does mean that we continue to be involved and active as the heads of our family, and that we develop new and mutually beneficial ways of interacting with our kids.
Third excerpt from their daughter, Saren:
Let me insert a word here. I agree that parents should stay involved but some empty-nest parents go too far, clinging to their children and to the role they played while their kids were young, trying to maintain control or have influence over every little thing in their adult children's lives. Some parents have a very hard time moving into a parenting role that respects their kids' independence while continuing to give support.
Last excerpt:
We say "no other success can compensate for failure in the home" and "the most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home." But we really know (don't we?) that when President McKay and President Lee said "home", they didn't mean house, they meant family. And, they meant it for the long-term.

If the rest of the book continues in the same enlightening vein, I'll post more of its pearls of wisdom. This is a subject I've rarely heard addressed and I think it's going to be "high quality," as Jordan liked to say.