My Miracles

Toward the end of the happy month of Dec., I started feeling unwell and running a fever of 101-103. It's probably the flu, I thought. By Jan. 9, I was no better, so I decided to see a doctor. He wasn’t too concerned, but was kind and advised me to come back if symptoms worsened. A spot on the left side of my upper back began to cause pain, so I went back in on the 11th. Nope, everything still looks fine, he said. On Monday the 12th, I called a chiropractor who had helped me in the past. She wanted me to make sure there were no heart issues causing the pain before she saw me, so Dan took me to the emergency room on the 13th to check that out. They gave me the all clear, and a prescription of Hydrocodone for the back pain, which was really bothering me by then. I phoned the chiropractor to let her know the EKG was fine, and she said she could see me on Wednesday, the 14th. Dan took me there the next morning, and within mere minutes, she found that the T4 vertebra was out of place, and easily put it back in place, bringing immediate relief.

Due to the pain I'd been experiencing, I hadn't been sleeping very well, so I took a nap on the loveseat when we got home. Ordinarily, Dan would have returned to work, but he said that he felt that he should wait for me to wake up before leaving. I believe he was prompted to wait. However, when I did wake up about two hours later, I was incoherent and unable to walk. I have no memory of that or of anything else for the next 9 days. Dan called for an ambulance, and I was transported back to the emergency room in Meridian in critical condition. He tells me that I was intubated early on, and that the next hours were spent in running all kinds of tests, blood tests, CT scans, MRI’s. In the wee hours of the morning of the 15th, it was determined that I had a bone abscess near the spine and needed immediate surgery. I was moved to ST. Luke’s Regional Medical Center in Boise, where a neurosurgeon, Dr. Manning, performed a multi layered laminectomy on the T4 through T7 vertebrae, and cleaned out the abscess. I'm requesting his notes from the surgery because I'm interested in trying to understand why this infection is called a bone abscess, while being called pneumococcal epidural meningitis by the infectious diseases doctors. The medical field is so fascinating to me.

From what I'm told and what I've read, my life was pretty much on the line for the next several weeks. As I said, I was unaware of my circumstances and surroundings for the first 9 days, but loving friends and family rallied around sending up prayers, and showing forth much kindness and love. Each morning, I'm told, the nursing staff would turn down the sedation, and tell me where I was. Then they'd ask me to open my eyes, to squeeze their hand, and wiggle my toes. Day after day, there was no response from me. But on the ninth day, Friday, Jan. 23rd, I woke up, and responded! Pretty soon the ventilator was removed, and I could speak, well, whisper a little bit, although it took a lot of effort. Our joy was short-lived though, because after a couple of hours, my airways became swollen and I couldn't breathe. Dan went for help. The room was suddenly filled with emergency personnel. He and my sister Julie were told to leave, and I was re-intubated. They called this nerve-racking episode acute respiratory failure. But it, too, was short-lived, because by Monday, the 26th, I was extubated and able to breathe on my own. Another complication arose when, possibly from one of the antibiotics I was given, or from the large amount of fluids required to try to compensate for very low blood pressure and the septic shock,, my kidneys stopped working. I was very swollen, with forty pounds of extra fluid on board. I was surprised to learn that I'd already had two or three dialysis treatments while I was unconscious. The nephrologist said that the dialysis might help the kidneys begin to function properly again, but it could take months. By the time I was thinking clearly enough to realize that I needed to pray for this to be resolved, I'd had a total of six dialysis treatments, and had turned the corner. I actually needed supplemental IV fluid for a little while because the kidneys suddenly went into overdrive, with dehydration looming on the horizon.

The rapidity of the resolution to the kidney concerns felt (and feels) like another miracle to me. During this time, I was more aware of my Heavenly Father's protection and care for me than ever before. When I was still intubated and unable to speak, I remember that I received an impression that Father in heaven was giving me the choice of whether to continue my life on earth, or to come through the veil to be with loved ones who had gone on before. After weighing both choices, my strong feeling was that I would be happy either way. I trusted His wisdom more than my own, so I wanted Him to make the decision. I knew that many dear ones were praying for my recovery, including children. I wonder if it may have tipped the balance in favor of remaining in mortality, when I added in my reply to Him, that my desire was that all those who were praying for me would be strengthened in both their faith in Him, and in their faith in prayer. My own faith, love, gratitude, and trust in Him is far greater than ever before. I am so very happy, too, because my confidence in His plans, purposes, and power waxes strong.

During the illness, I had to discontinue the clinical trial medication, Ibrutinib/Imbruvica. Before long, my lymph nodes began to increase in size and to cause some pain. One Sunday night, I determined that I would call Dr. Farooqui the next morning to ask if I still qualified to be in the clinical trial or not. Early on, he and the doctors who were treating me had been in contact with each other. When Dan arrived on Monday morning, as he faithfuly did every day of my hospitalization, the phone rang. It was Dr. Farooqui calling to check on how I was doing! I hadn't even had the frustration of searching for his number, leaving a message, and waiting for a call. If not a miracle, this was certainly another tender mercy from heaven. My vote is for a miracle though. This wonderful doctor kept my hope alive that I'd be back in the clinical trial when I had recovered sufficiently from all that had been going on.

And my husband? His unfailing love and support for me through this uncertain time was perfection itself. I love him, I appreciate him, I want to be with him, forever and ever and ever. Our sons, Ethan, Kimball, Greg, and Shane, made great sacrifices of time and money to be with us. I felt Jordan's presence with me on more than one occasion as well. Neil wasn't able to come, but he had just been here at Thanksgiving. His sweet Penny made the softest, creamiest white afghan imaginable for me to snuggle up in. Colin and Macey live nearby, so we were blessed with many visits from them, and once they even brought in an indoor picnic from my favorite sandwich shop, Which Wich. My sisters, Julie from Utah, Becky and her husband Ray from California, and Jamie from Florida, were able to come, too. And Jenny sent her love from Iowa. We were deluged with visits, calls, texts, and cards from so many friends, from near and far. Jason, Brianna, and Jayden, Rick and JoLyn, Michael and Lisa, and Ethan with his family all came from afar. Kind local visitors were so plentiful that we even had to ask for a little rest so I could try to get some sleep. Karen, Cindy, Vickie, Marie, Judy, Joan, Ava, Amie, Roxane, Andrea S and Lisa W, Hank and Gayle, Phil and Diane, young Elders Jacobs and Stapley, and others came. Our very caring bishop, Carl Withers, visited a dozen or more times! And sometimes he brought his gentle wife, Jane. Our church family brought delicious meals to our house for our beloved out-of-town visitors as well. We are grateful for every single blessing from a caring, knowledgeable medical team, friends, family, and heaven.

I was away from home from Jan. 14th to Feb. 27th. I guess I experienced some ICU psychosis, with disorientation and night fears, during the last week of January.. Kimball spent a night at the hospital with me, and Greg spent three nights, which was a great help to me. When my mental fog cleared, getting home was still my number one concern. My much longed- for homecoming was one of the happiest days of my life.

Much love to all -

Bonnie