Forty Years in the Wilderness ... Together

On Aug. 24, 1973, a very naïve couple, Dan and Bonnie, were joined by their families, a few siblings and friends, for their (our) marriage in the Salt Lake Temple.  Looking back on the four decades of family life that began that day, we could easily become overwhelmed by the extent of the trials and blessings that have come our way.  It’s so great to note that we are still happy, still love one another, and are eager for more. We are so very grateful for the seven sons Heavenly Father sent us, and love them now just as much or more than we did when they were adorable little children.   Although neither we, nor they, have necessarily behaved adorably all the time, they have taught us to hang on when things get tough, and to let go when the time is right.  I know I’ve learned a lot more about God’s tender feelings for us, His children, from being a parent myself.  With every new member that comes into our ever expanding family, the learning only continues.  What a school!  Come what may, our love and commitment to this now 40-year-old family will never fail.  It endureth for how long?  Forever.

Rather than summarizing the last 40 years, we think it best to stick with just some of this summer’s activities.  Enter Dan’s sister, Iris, and her two sons, Matthew and Michael.  

Looking for fossils at the Algal Reef

Close-up of Algal Reef

 We met up with this little creature in Owyhee county, named after a mispelled version of Hawaii.

 Feisty the lizard

 

Admiring our Lady Queen of Heaven Catholic Church in Oreana, Idaho

 

 

 

We took a ride on the Thunder Mountain train from Horseshoe Bend to Banks

 

Michael sluicing for gold in Banks

And here’s his sluice treasure!

One evening, we walked to our neighborhood park and had lots of free fun rolling down a grassy hill.  I couldn’t do it without laughing my head off every single time.  If you miss out on something in your childhood, what’s to say you can’t do it even if you’re a grandmother? Nada!

Dan and I made a quick day trip to Utah to see Julie, and to attend part of his brother Alan’s family reunion.  Shane came up from Provo too, so we did lots of catching up all in one afternoon.

Shane & cousin Cassie from Texas

Dan, Alan, and Iris

I’ve heard that good things come in threes.  It must be true because our next adventure took us to Atlanta, Idaho.  This turned out to be a timely visit, because the historic hamelet is now under evacuation orders due to a nearby forest fire.  Its surrounded by the Boise National Forest, which is why we saw plenty of evidence of previous fires all around.  
 

The huge mounds of gravel are leftovers from the placer mining for gold that took place there in the late 1800’s.

My favorite spot is right here, soaking in one of Atlanta’s hot springs

Tree hugger

 It’s a good thing that I took time to hug a tree.  It could be the last hug it ever gets, unless that fire is containe pretty soon.

Fly Fisherman on the Middle Fork of the Boise River

Sherri, the woman who cooked our breakfast at the Beaver Lodge, says she moves up every summer, and goes fishing every day while she’s there. 

Greylock mountain, 1 mile north of Atlanta.

Dan got to see a beaver dam up close and personal.

And now we’re home, ready to start plowing the back forty. :D

A Small Slice of Paradise

Within its first few hours of completion, a thirsty little hummingbird had already been spotted flitting about in this magivcally created backyard birthday fairy garden.  I’m so glad someone was there to see and tell me so that I knew.  I took his visits as a sign of nature putting the stamp of approval on my tiny, whimsical garden.  
 

Fairy pool

 JoLyn, queen of the fairies, was the designer and implementer.   She was deftly assisted by  two more garden fairies, Gayle and Hank Pollock.  Almost the whole yard received a very welcome makeover so they were kept busy with a variety of tasks – weeding, then putting down weed barrier, picking up and spreading a load of Boise pea gravel, pulling out an overgrown boxwood hedge, and hauling away debris. Only the fairy garden is ready to be highlighted today though.  The other areas need to settle in and grow a little before they’re ready for prime time viewing. 
 

Iris painted the stepping stones.

 A little magic makes all the difference!  Dan’s talented sister, Iris, got the magic started by simply suggesting that ornamental grasses would look nice in place of the hedge.  She also did some pruning for us, and everything seemed to just mushroom from there. 

 It has been a  Happy, happy birthday to me!  I wonder how I will ever thank you enough, all of my dear, dear friends.

Here is a song Julie sent me this morning.

Now I'd like a slice of cake to go with my slice of paradise please!

Eleventh Trip to the NIH

It was one year ago this month that I began my visits to the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, MD.  In many ways, it has been one of the best years of my life, if not the best.  Physically, emotionally, spiritually, I am growing stronger every day.  I’ve decided to go ahead and buy that piece of fitness equipment I’ve wanted for several years but put off buying because of the CLL, thinking that I might not be around long enough to get my money’s worth out of it.  Forget that, I’m still here, and I am going to use it for as long as I can, and then bequeath it to someone else when it becomes necessary. I had so much fun last week in Washington, D.C., with Shane, and also Joe, as guides that I want to be able to take in more sights in the future.   
 

"Graft" by Roxy Paine in the Sculpture garden

Shane and I took the underground Metro to the National Mall, where we visited several wonderful gardens, the museum of air and science, the natural history museum, and then had lunch at the native American museum.  We met up with my nephew, the amazing Joe Baird, at about 4 o’clock, and he transported us to several of the remarkably inspiring monuments.   We saw, and touched, and felt the majesty of the Lincoln, FDR, Martin Luther King, Vietnam, and Korean War memorials.   

Lincoln Memorial 

Vietnam Veterans Memorial - With Shane

With Joe

FDR Memorial

Braille! Very cool, FDR!

Korean War Veterans Memorial

An example of Bonnie's photographic skill

Never rushing, we took our time in each place.  I hope to return there soon to see and feel much more of this treasury of our shared history.  We even had fun just riding along with Joe on the way back to Bethesda!  He wasn’t sure just how to get there, but it didn’t matter.  He said he liked to go down the streets that made him happy!  No map needed, he’d rather ask a living, breathing person for directions than consult a map.  Suddenly, in our wanderings, he spied a pupusería.  A what?  A Pupusería (where Salvadoran pupusas are made and sold).  So we stopped on a dime, and Joe treated us to a meal of pupusas and Sangria, Mexican grape soda.  I was lucky enough to also be the recipient of an elota, a Mexican street food.  It is corn on the cob, served on a stick, and slathered with mayonnaise, a grated hard cheese, and chili powder, and/or lime juice.  Yum! yum! Yum!  We need to hang out with Joe more often.

The next day was a little less exciting.  The combination of flying on Monday, sightseeing on Tuesday, and fasting Wednesday morning for a CT scan, caused me to become a little dehydrated, which made my blood draw a beast.  It just did not want to flow.  At last they procured enough for the day’s clinic appointment, but the rest had to be collected the next day.  Thursday was the bone marrow biopsy which I usually dread.  But since Dr. F. assured me he’d be doing it, I didn’t worry a bit about it.  When he came in and apologized for having a ,meeting he had to go to at the precise time the biopsy was scheduled, I had to struggle to stay calm.  I met the newest member of the CLL team then though, Dr. Martyr, who did the biopsy instead. I really like her.  But she didn’t get along well with my hard, hard bones.  She got the four marrow samples quickly and easily, but had some difficulty with getting into the bone for a sample.  She came up with a sample of bone half the size that the lab called for.  She had numbed the site up very well with lidocaine, so I agreed to let her try for a better sample.  But just as she thought she had it, the needle slipped off the side of the bone.  Yikes, a new sensation, which I don’t want to repeat.  After that, I was somewhat unnerved and said no to another try.  So the assistant applied a pressure bandage, and instructed me to lie on my back for 15-20 minutes as usual.  No undue bleeding was observed, so I was given permission to leave.  However, the nurse left before Shane and I did.  When I rose to walk out of the room, I found that walking was almost impossible because of extreme pain in the left hip every time I took a step on that side.  Shane grabbed a wheelchair in the hall for me to use, and we went on our way, meeting up with the research nurse outside the procedure unit.  She called the docs and told me to meet them in the clinic upstairs.  Dr. Martyr came out every 30 to 45 minutes and walked with me for a bit to see if things were improving.  Maybe they did, it’s hard to tell.  If they did, it was nearly imperceptible to me.  She gave us her contact info and released us, saying that she thought the lidocaine was to blame and that it would wear off soon.  I’m not sure if that was itt, or if maybe the needle jammed into something on its slide down the bone.  Anyway, Shane wheeled me to the cafeteria where we had a nice lunch, and then caught the shuttle to the hotel.  We were tentatively planning to go back to the National Mall, but were keeping an eye on the weather.  Severe thunderstorms were forecast for late in the afternoon, with a possibility of tornadoes.  However, my pain put an end to those plans.  I could hardly get from the shuttle to our room as I  became dizzy, light-headed, and nauseous, and felt I was going to collapse.  It is a very good thing that no one else was in the elevator with us.  I could not keep my head up any longer, and doubled over at the waist, head down toward the floor.  It must have been what I needed, maybe allowing the blood to flow back into my head, so that when the door opened I could make it to our room.  I stayed in bed the rest of the day and night, and by Friday morning I was able to walk well enough to get where we needed to go on our way home.  Here it is, six days later, and the area is still more sore than it has ever been after a bone marrow biopsy.  But I’m pretty sure it will be OK, especially after receiving today’s BMB report.  It was a good one, and thankfully, there was enough bone for the pathologists to get reliable results!!  Here is my awesome report:

Hi Ms. Washburn,

Good news!  Your bone marrow biopsy results are ready (sooner than I expected).

First, your total cellularity on this marrow is 30-40% which is normal for your age

(I know the number is slightly different from the 40-50% range that Dr. Farooqui

mentioned but it is still considered normal for you).  As you recall from Dr. Farooqui's

email you started off at 95% prior to treatment, dropped to 80% at two months, dropped

to 65% at 6 months and now you are at 30-40% at 12 months.  This represents a very

good response to therapy.

Secondly, your CD79a marker which specifically looks at the amount of CLL present,

is now 40%.  You started out at 95%, at two months you were at 80%, at six months

you were at 35% and at 12 months you are 40%.  There is really no difference between

35% and 40%; so I would interpret this as your CLL being stable between the last

6-12 months, but markedly improved compared to prior to starting therapy.

I hope this is clear.

Please feel free to email me if you have additional questions,

Sabrina Martyr, MD

Hematology-Oncology Fellow

National Heart, Lung, Blood Institute

National Institutes of Health

Is that not awesome.  And do I not have reason to be joyful?  My blood results were all very good as well.  And Shane.  What a wonderful traveling companion he was/is!  He plied me with quotes from Goethe’s Faust that he was reading, patiently slowed his normally rapid walking pace to match mine, and was helpful and fun in a hundred different ways.  I also enjoyed meeting his friend, Ashley, while we were there.    Thanks to Shane, to Joe, to the NIH staff, to United Airlines, and the Marriott folks, and to Heavenly Father, it was a beautiful, fulfilling week.

I am blessed!

An Especially Meaningful Memorial Day

In May 1865, after the major Confederate armies had surrendered, Sherman wrote in a personal letter: “i confess, without shame, I am sick and tired of fighting—its glory is all moonshine; even success the most brilliant is over dead and mangled bodies, with the anguish and lamentations of distant families, appealing to me for sons, husbands and fathers ... tis only those who have never heard a shot, never heard the shriek and groans of the wounded and lacerated ... that cry aloud for more blood, more vengeance, more desolation.” It’s good to know Sherman, one of the most brutal of commanders, was tired of war. I’m tired of war too, and I’ve never waged one. Not against flesh and blood, anyway. But for the first time ever, I was able this year to picture, in a small way, something of what it must have been like to be out on the battlefield for the soldiers in the Civil War. Just realizing in the past few days that I have 3 great great grandfathers who fought in that war, brought it to life for me.
 

Dan and I went to a Memorial Day service put on by a Civil War reenactment group in the Morris Hill cemetery. That’s where Jordan is buried, and where we will be interred someday, alongside him. We arrived for the event freshly showered and shampooed, dressed in clean, comfortable clothing. I thought of how sweaty, and grimy, and hot, or cold, and hungry, and frightened the soldiers were as they marched and camped, marched and camped, day after day, sometimes for months on end! Three times yesterday, the crowd watched and heard the soldiers load, then fire their guns in a three gun salute. They had to reload after each shot, which took a surprisingly long time. They would have been defenseless during the time they spent reloading those one-shot muzzle loaders. There were 12 to 15 men who fired their weapons yesterday, and it was plenty loud. We commented on how overwhelming the din would have been with thousands of soldiers firing their weapons, of the smoke that would have hung over the battlefield, and of the resulting screams of pain that would inevitably have followed. I thought of my three grandfather soldiers, who were far from grandfathers at the time, as I read the following: In the four years of war (1861-1865), over six million men joined the fight, and more than half a million never made it home. Historian Shelby Foote wrote, that for every two men who marched up Pennsylvania Avenue in the Grand Review, the ghost of a third marched with them. In a letter home, spectator Ellen Hooper said "It was a sad day too--you felt as if there were another army--larger and finer--marching above them." Two of my ancestor-soldiers, James Henry Smith and John Chason made it home safely after the war. Young John Sims, however, did not. He was killed in the Battle of Gaines’ Mill, in Hanover, Virginia, on June 27, 1862. His wife, Priscilla, was left to raise their son, John Samuel Sims, born in 1861, without him. No longer oblivious to their sacrifices, I am willing to make some of my own, in an effort to greet them in the future on an equal footing. Thank you, to all my loved ones who have gone on before. I hope to honor you in a special way, by seeing that your temple ordinances are complete. I’m also grateful to the Baird family for sharing their annual Memorial Day gathering with Shane. Their example inspires us to build more meaning into this day as well.

Another Family Trip!

Families can, they really can, be together forever.  It will take a lot of faith, and love, and work, but I know it can be so!  This is especially meaningful, because it was five years ago today that our beloved Jordan died.  My constant hope and prayer is that our whole family will learn to love and value each other, according to Heavenly Father’s great plan of happiness, both here and hereafter.  There is a lot of work to do toward that end, but it can be done. 

For example, a very nice chunk of it was done last weekend.   Dan and I were invited to Denver for the baptism of our granddaughter Julianna!   

Tori played the piano while we sang the opening song, I Am a Child of God, and for the closing song Juli sang When I Am Baptized, accompanied by Katey on the harp.

Feasting on Jan’s baptism treats

Greg and Shauna

Neil and Penny’s twins, McKay and McKenna

Then both sides of the family went to an Italian buffet called Cinzetti’s for a fabulous lunch.  Highly recommended.  Their cinnamon gelato stole my heart, which is always up for grabs when it comes to desserts. 

Uncle Neil and Aunt Penny after a couple of 8-year-olds finished with his hair!

My my, McKay, what big feet you have.

Six of our little twinkling stars: Levi, 5; Christian, 6; Julianna, 8; Josalyn, 8: Katey, 13

We missed Alyssa and wish she had been there too.  Grandpa Dan made a baptism game for me to use in my Primary class, so we brought it along and had fun sitting around the kitchen table playing it with the children.  They play well, and they work well.  We observed Christian and Levi unloading the dishwasher, and another time they were setting the table.  While Shauna made a couple of apple pies before church, the girls were washing and wrapping potatoes to bake.  They also took turns clearing the table, and loading the dishwasher.  Grandpa Dan and I got a kick out of seeing them happily, busily, in action.   

What an altogether great trip we had!  We read two good books while we drove, “Same Kind of Different As Me” by Ron Hall and Denver Moore, and “COMETS – Creators and Destroyers” by David H. Levy.  Also highly recommended.  Ha, it gave us something to do while we were sitting in a repair shop trying to solve the mystery of our overheating Subaru.  We’ve since learned this is a common problem with Subarus, and it often stymies the best of mechanics.  We’re so thankful our prayers for safe travel were affirmatively answered, and that we spent the weekend in “a Christ-centered home where the gospel is taught, covenants are kept, and love abounds.”  Elder Richard G. Scott 

In the Pink

Some may say our familly has no family traditions, but this is untrue.  Our long-standing tradition is to try something new on every holiday, every year.  For example, this past Valentine’s Day, I surprised Dan with pink hair.  Ever frugal, I used part of my old bunny costume from a couple of years ago to add to the pinkness.  For Easter this year, we did what we love to do, we visited family, this time in WA state.  We checked into Best Western on Saturday afternoon at about 4, then we went over to Ethan and Missy’s for a fantastic homemade Mexican fiesta for the family, then on to the church for our dear little Easter Lilly’s night before Easter baptism!  It was beautiful, as expected.  Such a strong feeling of love and faith and unity was there.

We were lucky enough to get a few pictures the next morning.  After church, where we met old friends and heard powerful testimonies of the Savior, Ethan’s family went to lunch and an Easter egg hunt with Missy’s brother’s family, and Dan and I had a new first, Easter dinner compliments of Burger King.  We visited Dan’s sisters, Janet and Iris, and their families later in the afternoon, then spent a couple more hours with Ethan’s crew that evening.  Holidays, anydays, (well maybe not tax days) we know how to go with the flow.  (Dan’s feeling a little stress because this is the first year we actually owe taxes. Me, I’m concerned because his job may be ending as early as next February!)

On Monday morning, we had the great delight of bringing Brooklyn and Lilly home to spend a few days with us for spring break!  They kept us laughing almost the whole time.  Brooklyn read a long chapter of “Which Witch” by Eva Ibbotson to me, and then she went on to finish the book herself when I found I could get it from my library.  My friend and emergency babysitter, Cindy, first took the girls to her son’s Frisbee game, and then to the library the next day because I had a couple of unexpected clinic visits, and they each chose another book to check out.  We also read “Little House in the Big Woods” and “Meet Kaya: An American Girl” together.  Even that wasn’t enough reading for these smart little girls.  They made up a very clever game using some of Jack Prelutsky’s hilarious poetry books and a couple of scooters.  We called it the reading and riding game.  On the back patio, they’d place an open book on a picnic bench.   Brooklyn would ride over to it, read two lines of a poem and ride away.  Then Lilly would do the same.  They read at least 3 of his books over the course of several days this way!  Who knew poetry could be so fun.

These young ones can entertain themselves for hours by playing with balloons.  But Grandpa expanded their horizons by buying water balloons, so they could bomb Colin and Macey when they came for dinner and a little kite-flying.  Brooklyn was very eager to take the leftover balloons home to bomb her Papa, just to remind him of the water balloon battles he and his brothers used to have.  Another time, Dan showed them the way to the neighborhood park, and the next afternoon we packed up a bag of books and snacks and ventured forth on our own.  We also took in a movie about cave people called The Croods. The funniest part of it for me was when I fell asleep, and dreamed someone was trying to harm my young child.  In my dream I was trying to shout, “Leave him alone!  Leave him alone!!  But I couldn’t speak.  I could only make unintelligible, guttural sounds.  Sort of like cavetalk?  When I woke up, I couldn’t stop laughing at myself because I’d been making those sounds aloud during the movie!  We also laughed over some of Miss Lilly’s wardrobe choices.  She took a liking to my pink jacket (seen above) and a pair of cowboy boots that used to belong to Kimball, I think.  They are very, very big on her little feet.  Unknown to me, that’s what she was wearing when Cindy took them to Tyler’s double-header frisbee games.  I heard her clunking around in the boots when they got home, and temporarily broke her heart the next day when I wouldn’t let her wear them to the library.  Only around the house, I soothed.  Brooklyn took a liking to them as well, and they shared them quite amicably.  Lilly was excited about her brand-new scriptures, and she reminded us to read them almost every day.  I wish I could have helped her learn her way around in them, where to find things.  She was a little touchy when Brooklyn tried to help her.  With them, I’d choose just a few verses at a time to read.  One night it was just 1 verse, 1^st Nephi 1:1.  We read it several times and talked about it.  Wish I’d done it that way when my boys were small.  We usually read a whole chapter, which may have been too much at the time.  I’m crossing my fingers that the girls want to, and get to, come again sometime.  They filled the whole place with bushels of sunlight, and laughter, and love.

P.S.  My unexpected clinic visits turned up a streptococcus pneumonia infection in my bloodstream.  Seven days of an IV antibiotic, Rocephin, has, we hope, cleared it up, and all is well now.  I am back, as they say, in the pink.       

Tenth Trip to the NIH, +

March’s NIH lab results have gone missing, but they show that after 9 months on Ibrutinib, I’ve had a complete response to the drug in the blood.  All counts normal!  Bone marrow and lymph nodes, not so much.  But they are definitely improving, and in time, they may get there too.  I had a core needle biopsy of one of the lower right axillary nodes, and was instructed to stop taking Ibrutinib for a week, three days before and three days after the biopsy.  It was disconcerting to feel how quickly the nodes began to enlarge and to downright hurt before the week was up.  Relief came almost immediately once I got the go-ahead to start my favorite med again though.  Looks like Ibrutinib and I might be partners for life.

I appreciate my sister Julie driving up on Sunday from SLC to travel with me.  We had some shopping fun here on Monday before flying out on Tuesday the 12^th.   We greatly enjoyed visiting with NIH friends, Lynn and Loren and Nancy and Gene in clinic, while we all waited to be called back for our consultations.  One received good news (treatment may not be needed for a very long time), one received bad news (she has to leave the trial for the second time due to another serious health problem), and as stated above, my results were good.  We waited and waited for almost 2 hours in the pharmacy to pick up my three-month supply of Ibrutinib, finally deciding to come back in the morning after the biopsy for them.  The shuttle schedule makes it necessary to be a little assertive sometimes.  Miss it and you could miss your flight, or you could be walking to dinner in an unfamiliar city in the dark.  The radiologist wrote in her orders that I was to be observed in the day hospital for 2 hours after the biopsy, but that would have made me miss the free NIH airport shuttle, having then to pay around $100 for a taxi.  No thanks.  The nurse made the necessary phone calls to secure the change in orders I needed.  But while they were pending, my pesky blood pressure started creeping up, jeopardizing my release.  I made myself think calm thoughts, and breathe slowly, deeply. Worked like a charm, it went back down to normal. Just in the nick of time I was free to leave! 

Julie and I flew from the Dulles airport to Orlando.  We were off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizards of Hogwarts!  Actually, it was our sister Jami and her family we went to visit for a few days, but Harry Potter’s hangout was on the list too.  So were the beach and the Orlando temple.  And we did it all, although the beach got short shrift with only a token 15-minute visit.  Guess this means we’ll have to make a return visit later on.  Jamie’s daughter Sarah accompanied us on our trip to Universal, and she’s a lot of fun.  She took being with three grandmas well in stride. 

Dan surprised me with a new microwave to replace our aging one while I was away, and helped me send out the Easter packages to the grandchildren when I got back.  Thanks to the love and consideration of many people, this trip was another success.