Monday, April 26, 2010

Wayne Dyer Is Wrong About CLL

I just paid a visit to the CLL Christian Friends site I belong to, and Randy, a fellow CLLer, posted the following comment today. He found it in Parade magazine.
Dr. Wayne Dyer's Diagnosis
Q How is motivational guru Dr. Wayne Dyer doing since being diagnosed with cancer?--Joe De Laigle, Newport News, Va.
A "I don't think of it as cancer," Dyer, 69, says. "It's chronic lymphocytic leukemia, not life-threatening, and it's been a great blessing in my life. We're all infinite spiritual beings having a temporary human experience. Find that within yourself."
What an idiot.
*end of Randy's post*

I know that there are indolent forms of CLL, ones that never progress to become symptomatic. But I saw my own father and brother lose their lives to CLL, as well as many of my CLL friends on the aforementioned forum. So while I hope Mr. Dyer's CLL remains inactive, I know that not everyone is so fortunate. That is all.
Note: For up-to-date, accurate information on CLL, visit
http://clltopics.org/index.php

The Winds of Change

I feel the winds of change blowing my way. And they feel good! This time last year our youngest was a month away from high school graduation. Now he's on a mission, and doing so great. I remember feeling sad as we walked across the parking lot to Shane's graduation a year ago, and Dan saying that we just needed to plan things for us to do together, and shift our focus just a little bit. And so we have. We've gone out together more during this past year than the previous few years combined. We're going on a little business trip this weekend, on an Alaskan cruise in June, and we're spending a week with several of our sons and their families in a cabin in Eden, UT, in July. If all goes well, we'll see the other sons and their fams, too, while we're looking for adventure in the Beehive state.. I want to go to Pine View Reservoir, and Goblin Valley, and lots more while we're there. Suggestions welcome! Ah, but just to be in Eden sounds blissful. My friend told me about a cool dinosaur park near Ogden, and my sister mentioned a fun museum for kids near there, too, the Treehouse Museum, I think.

These are a few of the things I'll be thinking of while I weed my already too weedy garden. I can hardly believe how quickly the weeds take off and get away from me every year! But I am ready to do battle, starting today. Dan and I couldn't resist buying a few beddding plants on Saturday, just basil and tomatoes, but others will soon follow. Brianna invited the three of us over for dinner recently, and it was a sweet experience to have her show me around her new little home. She showed me every room, every picture on the wall, made tea for us after dinner in her authentic Chinese tea service. She and Jason joined forces to serve up a very tasty meal, and it was altogether a very peaceful and pleasant evening....except when the cat jumped up on the table in front of me. Yuck, cats in the kitchen!

I used to be a huge fan of cats. I remember thinking my Daddy was meaner than mean when he spirited some new kittens away from us when we were children. But my adult years convinced me he was right! Not for everyone, surely, but for me, a person who can't detect and thus prevent some of their wily ways. I know Neil and Penny have a lot of fun with their cats, and it's cute to hear Neil describe their antics. Oh, but I recall a cat poking his head into a bowl of food I was feeding Kimball when he was a baby, and I was appalled. It was peas and carrots, for goodness sake, nothing a cat should be remotely interested in. On another occasion, my busy mother-in-law was thawing some steaks on her kitchen counter, and I heard one of her cats jump up on the counter to help itself to a gourmet meal. The splat the steak made on the kitchen floor when it jumped back down still makes me shudder. Forget those sneaky cats though, the winds of change are ruffling the pages on another book, and rustling the weeds in my would-be garden. Which to choose? I'll postpone the choice for one more moment while I thank JoLyn and Lisa for helping to update my wardrobe last week. JoLyn shopped for me in WA, and Lisa brought her findings bby on her way to UT. Then she waited while I had my own little fashion show, all the while supplying good descriptions and recommendations. I ended up keeping 9 of the 15 items JoLyn selected for me to try on.. Thanks for making my life easier and more fun, and giving me a taste of the Royal treatment again! I miss you guys so much! We like Boise a lot, but it's not quite Royal City. I guess it's another of those changes I'm talking about.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Happy Transplant Day to Terry!

Dear Terry and Elaine,
We're following your transplant story from your blog, and our love and prayers are constantly with you. What a wonderful day this is! Some call it a new birthday, the first day of a life without CLL/SLL (chronic lymphocytic leukemia / small cell lymphocytic lymphoma). Kudos to both of you, a caring and courageous couple, who've spent your days doing good to so many. May all the good come back to you now, a hundred times over!
Love,
The Washburn Family

Friday, April 16, 2010

More Angels

That's how I feel about those who show up for book club, after I've spent the afternoon slaving over straightening up and setting up for the event. At one point, I thought to myself, "I am never doing this again!" But to my profound relief, everything went fabulously, and I know I'll be happy to take my turn at hosting again ... in a few more months.

I jumped on the candy buffet bandwagon, although admittedly mine was a mini version of the grand spreads found at wedding receptions. We had dried blueberries and cherries for a little healthier choice, lemon heads, peach rings and Ttwizzlers for sugarsugar, peanuts and chocolate-covered almonds for the nuts among us, chocolate-covered pomegranantes for the sophisticated (like me), and gummi frogs were the piece de resistance. Only readers of the book, Dark Angel, will know why frogs were given this honor.

Book clubs seem to be proliferating lately. Why do you think that is? I think it's because of the surprising insights we gain from fellow readers. someone invariably picks up things we overlooked entirely, or interprets events in a way we hadn't considered, adding to our appreciation of the author and the story, and of one another. There's also the unforseen turns discussions take that make every gathering unique. It wasn't much of a surprise that this book led us to discuss our personal feelings on polygamy, whether we felt we would participate in it, etc., but no one expected to receive advice on whether to pay the extra fee for an expedited passsport, or to discuss the question of one's post-resurrection gender. At book club, you never know what you'll eat, hear, say, or learn. So far for me, it's all been good.


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Dark Angel

I belong to two book clubs, both quite different from one another, and both a pleasure to be part of. One is made up of women of a similar age, and of course that's somewhat of a unifying factor. The second one just formed a few months ago. Most of the women are quite a bit younger than I am, and they really know how to carry on a lively discussion. .Staci, who told us she reads about a book a day, recently revealed to us, upon close questioning, that she earned two bachelor's degrees, one in psychology and one in history. She recommended Dark Angel by Robert Kirby, a book I'd never heard of, for this month's read. And what a wild read it is! Amid all the cussin'', shootin', lyin' and spyin, and downright irreverent humor, Kirby spins an engaging story that teaches a powerful lesson about the worth of every soul. He lays open the hearts and motivations of the characters to us, exposing them as they really are. Some of them are good, some are silly, some are confused and hurting, angry and vengeful, cruel and evil, and others are full of love and integrity. Wouldn't it come in handy to be able to get a peek into someone's heart in real life at times? What was even more fascinating than that though, was the way it made me look into my own heart. I caught glimpses of myself at various stages of my life in several of the characters. How the author managed to do that, I cannot even guess. I gained insight into myself as a child, as a mother with a young family, then a woman with teens, and beyond, right up to the present. I have to wait till Thursday night to find out if the others experienced anything like this. Were they only entertained, or did they learn something about what makes us who and what we are? I can't remember taking a book so personally before. Maybe it just came along at the right time for me. The craziest thing of all is that I feel a little more like I imagine Heavenly Father must feel when He looks down upon His Children. He sees what is really happening, and why it's happening that way. He sees the whole story. We never do. We're in the dark so much of the time. Actions that look meaningless and pointless to us, He understands completely. He knows the right and the wrong of every situation. Probably never even intending to, Mr. Robert Kirby's book left me with a strong message that my Father KNOWS. He knows it all! And I absolutely love knowing that.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Wherein I Interview Prophets

Ok, it's easy to tell brevity hasn't been my forte in sharing conference highlights thusfar. But wait till you see this! They're not even highlights, they're sparks. I ask a question, and then let a prophet reply!
Q: Elder Packer, there's much to worry about in the world right now. Is there cause for hope?
A: "We can and in due time certainly will influence all of humanity. It will be known who we are and why we are. It might seem hopeless; it is monumentally difficult; but it is not only possible but certain that we will win the battle against Satan."

Q: Hurray! How do you recommend we proceed?
A: "While the priesthood is presently all over the world, we call on every elder and high priest, every holder of the priesthood to stand, like Gideon’s small but powerful force of 300, in his own place. We now must awaken in every elder and high priest, in every quorum and group, and in the father of every home the power of the priesthood of the Almighty. We need everyone. The tired or worn out or lazy and even those who are bound down with guilt must be restored through repentance and forgiveness. Too many of our priesthood brethren are living below their privileges and the Lord’s expectations. We must go forward, confident of the supernal power of the priesthood. It is a source of strength and encouragement to know who we are and what we have and what we must do in the work of the Almighty."

Q: Thank you, Elder Packer. Your words are of value to men and women alike.
Now, Elder Eyring, you told us about a time when your little son was lost, and how grateful you were for those who rescued him then, and later in life too. So teaching and rescuing children is what we should all be doing?
A: "Our most important and powerful assignments are in the family. They are important because the family has the opportunity at the start of a child’s life to put feet firmly on the path home. Parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts and uncles are made more powerful guides and rescuers by the bonds of love that are the very nature of a family."
Q: Are there others who can help in the teaching of our children?
A: "The family has an advantage in the first eight years of a child’s life. In those protected years, because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, Satan’s use of the mists of darkness to hide the path to return home is blocked. In those precious years the Lord helps families by calling Primary workers to help strengthen children spiritually."
Q: Thank you for showing us how even more rescuers are placed along the path to guide and protect the rising generation. What are our chances for success?
A: "I promise each of you, as you follow inspired direction in this, the true Church of Jesus Christ, that our youth and we who help and love them can be delivered safely to our home with Heavenly Father and the Savior to live in families and in joy forever. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."
Q: Amen! That's a promise I hope to see fulfilled!
Elder Ballard, you spoke in great detail to mothers and daughters. I know your words are true, because I have a great mom who taught her five daughters (and two sons) by word and example. And happily, after a few bumps along the way, all of us remain faithful to them. By the way, her birthday is tomorrow, April 10th, although she's no longer with us. Would you care to add anything more about the family in general?
A: "I conclude my counsel with this prophetic summary from President Joseph F. Smith: “Our [family] associations are not exclusively intended for this life, for time, as we distinguish it from eternity. We live for time and for eternity. We form associations and relations for time and all eternity. . . . Who are there besides the Latter-daySaints who contemplate the thought that beyond the grave we will continue in the family organization? the father, the mother, the children recognizing each other. . . ? this family organization being a unit in the great and perfect organization of God’s work, and all destined to continue throughout time and eternity?”
Q: Actually, I know others besides the LDS who believe in continued family life, but they don't understand that it can't happen without faithful obedience, and making and keeping temple covenants. Even some members don't seem to understand that parents are parents forever, and an eternal family is made up of many generations, not just their immediate family. Don't they realize their children will grow up and have their own families too, and they will still be a part of the whole? I don't know how it works, this thing called exaltation, but I will trust that it does work, and that Father will show us how in His own due time. I do have a theory or two though. Ask me later. But now, let's get back to our interview.
Elder Bednar, I believe you have some inspired teaching to help us with our families?
A: "I pray for the guidance of the Holy Ghost as I describe a spiritual early warning system that can help parents in Zion to be watchful and discerning concerning their children. This early warning system applies to children of all ages and contains three basic components: (1) reading and talking about the Book of Mormon with your children, (2) bearing testimony of gospel truths spontaneously with your children, and (3) inviting children as gospel learners to act and not merely be acted upon. Parents who do these things faithfully will be blessed to recognize early signals of spiritual growth in or challenges with their children and be better prepared to receive inspiration to strengthen and help those children."
Q: I'm not sure I understand. Can you elaborate a little more?
A: "As parents and gospel instructors, you and I are not in the business of distributing fish; rather, our work is to help our children learn “to fish” and to become spiritually steadfast. This vital objective is best accomplished as we encourage our children to act in accordance with correct principles —as we help them to learn by doing. “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God” (John 7:17). Such learning requires spiritual, mental, and physical exertion and not just passive reception. Inviting children as gospel learners to act and not merely be acted upon builds on reading and talking about the Book of Mormon and bearing testimony spontaneously in the home.
Imagine, for example, a family home evening in which children are invited and expected to come prepared to ask questions about what they are reading and learning in the Book of Mormon —or about an issue that recently was emphasized in a gospel discussion or spontaneous testimony in the home. And imagine further that the children ask questions the parents are not prepared adequately to answer. Some parents might be apprehensive about such an unstructured approach to home evening. But the best family home evenings are not necessarily the product of preprepared, purchased, or downloaded packets of outlines and visual aids. What a glorious opportunity for family members to search the scriptures together and to be tutored by the Holy Ghost."

Q: Thank you, Elder Bednar. I hope I'm able to talk with a few more apostles later. But I think I've probably overstayed my welcome. Now it's time to bake banana nut bread. Dan requested it this morning, and I think I should have some ready and waiting for him when he comes home. Don't you? Mmmmmmm

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Boy Do I Ever Need Marshmallows!

In the 1960s, a professor at Stanford University began a modest experiment testing the willpower of four-year-old children. He placed before them a large marshmallow and then told them they could eat it right away or, if they waited for 15 minutes, they could have two marshmallows. He then left the children alone and watched what happened behind a two-way mirror. Some of the children ate the marshmallow immediately; some could wait only a few minutes before giving in to temptation. Only 30 percent were able to wait. It was a mildly interesting experiment, and the professor moved on to other areas of research, for, in his own words, “there are only so many things you can do with kids trying not to eat marshmallows.” But as time went on, he kept track of the children and began to notice an interesting correlation: the children who could not wait struggled later in life and had more behavioral problems, while those who waited tended to be more positive and better motivated, have higher grades and incomes, and have healthier relationships. What started as a simple experiment with children and marshmallows became a landmark study suggesting that the ability to wait — to be patient— was a key character trait that might predict later success in life.
Me: Do you think as a 4-year-old, you would have waited the 15 minutes? For a marshmallow, I think I would have. But if it had been chocolate, I'm not nearly so sure. Chocolate and marshmalows aside, what I really need is a big portion of patience. And Elder Uchtdorf has some welcome help for me. Here's a little bit more of it:
patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace. ...
Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well! Impatience, on the other hand, is a symptom of selfishness. It is a trait of the self-absorbed. It arises from the all-too-prevalent condition called “center of the universe” syndrome, which leads people to believe that the world revolves around them and that all others are just supporting cast in the grand theater of mortality in which only they have the starring role. ...
I know for sure that the promises of the Lord, if perhaps not always swift, are always certain. Brigham Young taught that when something came up which he could not comprehend fully, he would pray to the Lord, “Give me patience to wait until I can understand it for myself.”5 And then Brigham would continue to pray until he could comprehend it. We must learn that in the Lord’s plan, our understanding comes “line upon line, precept upon precept.” In short, knowledge and understanding come at the price of patience. Often the deep valleys of our present will be understood only by looking back on them from the mountains of our future experience. Often we can’t see the Lord’s hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. Often the most difficult times of our lives are essential building blocks that form the foundation of our character and pave the way to future opportunity, understanding, and happiness. ...
And again, there's much more. If you could use more patience in your life, read more about it here:
http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1207-20,00.html

Scripture Power!

On October 6, in the year 1536, a pitiful figure was led from a dungeon in Vilvorde Castle near Brussels, Belgium. For nearly a year and a half, the man had suffered isolation in a dark, damp cell. Now outside the castle wall, the prisoner was fastened to a post. He had time to utter aloud his final prayer, “Lord! open the king of England’s eyes,” and then he was strangled. Immediately, his body was burned at the stake. Who was this man, and what was the offense for which the authorities had condemned him? His name was William Tyndale, and his crime was to have translated and published the Bible in English. Tyndale, born in England about the time Columbus sailed to the new world, became a member of the Catholic clergy. He was fluent in eight languages, including Greek, Hebrew, and Latin. Tyndale was a devoted student of the Bible, and the pervasive ignorance of the scriptures that he observed in both priests and lay people troubled him deeply. In a heated exchange with a cleric who argued against putting scripture in the hands of the common man, Tyndale vowed, “If God spare my life, ere many years I will cause a boy that driveth the plough, shall know more of the Scripture than thou dost!” He sought the approval of church authorities to prepare a translation of the Bible in English so that all could read and apply the word of God. It was denied—the prevailing view being that direct access to the scriptures by any but the clergy threatened the authority of the church and was tantamount to casting “pearls before swine” (Matthew 7:6). Tyndale nevertheless undertook the challenging work of translation. In 1524 he traveled to Germany, under an assumed name, where he lived much of the time in hiding, under constant threat of arrest. With the help of committed friends, Tyndale was able to publish English translations of the New Testament and later the Old Testament. The Bibles were smuggled into England, where they were in great demand and much prized by those who could get them. They were shared widely but in secret. The authorities burned all the copies they could find. Nevertheless, within three years of Tyndale’s death, God did indeed open King Henry VIII’s eyes, and with publication of what was called the “Great Bible,” the scriptures in English began to be publicly available. Tyndale’s work became the foundation for almost all future English translations of the Bible, most notably the King James Version. ...
The scriptures enlarge our memory by helping us always to remember the Lord and our relationship to Him and the Father. They remind us of what we knew in our premortal life. And they expand our memory in another sense. ... None of us was present to see the Red Sea part and cross with Moses between walls of water to the other side. We were not there to hear the Sermon on the Mount, to see Lazarus raised from the dead, to see the suffering Savior in Gethsemane and on the cross, and we did not with Mary hear the two angels testify at the empty tomb that Jesus was risen from the dead. You and I did not go forward one by one with the multitude in the land Bountiful at the resurrected Savior’s invitation to feel the prints of the nails and bathe His feet with our tears. We did not kneel beside Joseph Smith in the Sacred Grove and gaze there upon the Father and the Son. Yet we know all these things and much, much more because we have the scriptural record to enlarge our memory, to teach us what we did not know. And as these things penetrate our minds and hearts, our faith in God and His Beloved Son takes root. ...
In Tyndale’s day, scriptural ignorance abounded because people lacked access to the Bible, especially in a language they could understand. Today the Bible and other scripture are readily at hand, yet there is a growing scriptural illiteracy because people will not open the books. The Scriptures Are the Standard for Distinguishing Truth and Error. God uses scripture to unmask erroneous thinking, false traditions, and sin with its devastating effects. He is a tender parent who would spare us needless suffering and grief and at the same time help us realize our divine potential. ...
). Faith will not come from the study of ancient texts as a purely academic pursuit. It will not come from archaeological digs and discoveries. It will not come from scientific experiments. It will not even come from witnessing miracles. These things may serve to confirm faith, or at times to challenge it, but they do not create faith. Faith comes by the witness of the Holy Spirit to our souls, Spirit to spirit, as we hear or read the word of God. And faith matures as we continue to feast upon the word.

Oh! Elder Todd Christofferson said so many more wonderful things, but I hope you will read them for yourself. He touches on atheism as well. They can be found right here:
http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1207-12,00.html

Let's Hear It for Good Women!

We all know some. We all want to be one. But how can we tell if someone is, or more importantly if we are, one? My heart cheered along with our Sister Julie' B. Beck's wise counsel in the first session of general conference, on just that subject. A few highlights:

A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. Life is not calm for most women, and each day seems to require the accomplishment of a million things, most of which are important.
A good woman must constantly resist alluring and deceptive messages from many sources telling her that she is entitled to more time away from her responsibilities and that she deserves a life of greater ease and independence. But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently. The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. Qualifying for the Lord’s Spirit begins with a desire for that Spirit and implies a certain degree of worthiness. Keeping the commandments, repenting, and renewing covenants made at baptism lead to the blessing of always having the Lord’s Spirit with us. Making and keeping temple covenants also adds spiritual strength and power to a woman’s life. Many answers to difficult questions are found by reading the scriptures because the scriptures are an aid to revelation. Insight found in scripture accumulates over time, so it is important to spend some time in the scriptures every day. Daily prayer is also essential to having the Lord’s Spirit with us. ...
Through Relief Society, sisters can receive answers to their questions and be blessed by the combined spiritual power of all the sisters. Relief Society validates the true and eternal nature of daughters of God. It is a sacred trust, a guiding light, and a system of watchcare that teaches and inspires women to be strong and immovable. Its motto, “Charity never faileth,” is embodied in all good women. ...
The second general Relief Society president, Eliza R. Snow, said this to the sisters:
“We want to be ladies in very deed, not according to the term of the word as the world judges, but fit companions of the Gods and Holy Ones. In an organized capacity we can assist each other in not only doing good but in refining ourselves, and whether few or many come forward and help to prosecute this great work, they will be those that will fill honorable positions in the Kingdom of God. . . . Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized, and the greatest good we can do to ourselves and each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for those responsibilities.”" ...
When we have done our very best, we may still experience disappointments, but we will not be disappointed in ourselves. ...

As someone else wrote, Sister Beck is a "fabulous and fearless leader!" And I'll add that she's also a very good woman, and I am personally grateful for her clear and inspired guidance. May it bless the lives of each of us.

Read all of her words right here:
http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1207-3,00.html

Friday, April 2, 2010

No Scar?

Hast thou no scar?
No hidden scar on foot, or side, or hand?
I hear thee sung as mighty in the land;
I hear them hail thy bright, ascendant star.
Hast thou no scar?
Hast thou no wound?
Yet I was wounded by the archers; spent,
Leaned Me against a tree to die; and rent
By ravening beasts that compassed Me, I swooned.
Hast thou no wound?
No wound? No scar?
Yet, as the Master shall the servant be,
And piercèd are the feet that follow Me.
But thine are whole; can he have followed far
Who hast no wound or scar?
--by Amy Carmichael

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Gethsemane

Still Learning How the Atonement Blesses Me

Almost four years ago, someone I love, without malice aforethought, introduced me to pain as I'd never known it. I'd relied on the atonement of Jesus Christ many times before to cleanse and heal me from sins I'd repented of, but, this time, no matter what I tried or who I asked, I couldn't figure out how to access His atonement to gain relief from the crushing pain. I prayed. I went to the scriptures. I talked with friends. I even asked about it in the gospel doctrine class. Nothing. My knowledge of the atonement had grown enough that I knew that it covered not only sins and transgressions, but all our afflictions, infirmities, embarrassments, disappointments, heartaches, fears, worries, everything! So why was its peace and comfort eluding me when I was pleading for it?

Eventually, I moved on. I came to the conclusion that there was nothing I could do to change the situation, that the Savior loved this person as much or even more than I did, and that I had to leave it in His hands. But still, I carried the memory of what I perceived as my unmet need in the back of my mind until this very day. Today, I learned that I was the one who was blocking the atonement's power to heal my shattered heart. I did right in letting go of my heavy burden, and turning it over to God, but I believe I'd done it unwittingly, not fully realizing what I was doing. I just hadn't been strong enough to handle it anymore. So I had been compelled to let go, without actually choosing to do it. I mistakenly expected the Lord to come and take the weight of pain from me. But I believe He was waiting for me to be the one to hand it to Him. Wow, there are none so blind as those who will not see! But I see more clearly now. Even though I've continued to hand my burdens to Him, I have a keener view of why, and how, and when, to do it, due in part to this morning's scripture study of Matthew 25-26, assisted by one of my favorite sites, http://www.gospeldoctrine.com/
Neal A. Maxwell
"Such love of the Lord requires that we become trustingly patient as experiences come to us that God deems for our good. We must, on this side of the veil, wait out the inexplicable things, maintaining serenity as the storms beat upon us and as the winds of derision howl. We must be willing to submit ourselves "to all things that the Lord seeth fit to inflict" upon us. (Mosiah 3:19) This is the unconditional submittal of the soul that lies at the very center of the first great commandment; there can be no holding back. Only as we thus come close to the living Lord can we honestly say, in the midst of the fiery trials of life, "Not as I will, but as thou wilt." (Matt. 26:39) (Notwithstanding My Weakness, 39)